October, August, April.

Naive thoughts take turns slapping my face in attempts to wake me up
From this reality that I don't want to face.
Neither one of us was ever much of anything
But together we could have been everything......
Or so the naive thoughts told me.
I based my formative years on the image of you
That kept me warm
While your actual being was slowly attempting to snatch away my ability to love
As if it were my innocence and I was just too old to believe in fairy tales anymore.
Split myself into tiny pieces in order to accomplish all things at once
Because all I wanted was to make you happy.
A promise of not now, but later was enough to keep me hanging on to your every word
Like you were Jesus Christ himself, emerged from the heavens
To bless me in all your excellence.
But just like Jesus, you're a frame of mind that requires patience and faith,
Things that I attempted to give to you right along with my all and my everything.
"Attempted" because I'm no longer trying now that "later" is no longer an option.
Just a naive girl, with naive thoughts.

2/26/2009.